Give Up Control and Find the Rest Your Soul Desires
Giving up control sounds unpleasant and almost painful. Even if we are not likely to have a stack of planners and pens in five different colors, feeling like we have a handle on our lives allows our shoulders to relax and our breathing to become soft. The planning itself is not sinful, but like most things, planning can quickly become an idol if we take our eyes off of God and cling to control instead of Christ. An idol is anything we worship or love more than God.
When considering control as an idol, we can go back to the beginning with Adam and Eve in the garden (Genesis 3). The enemy presented the first two people on this earth with a lie. He promised them if they disobeyed God, they would become like God. The lie was exposed when God judged them in the garden. Death was introduced to a once perfect story.
Death and destruction happen when we chase idols instead of the one true God. When we choose the idol of control, we choose the same lie that Adam and Eve chose. We are saying, "I want to be like God" and "I want to be my authority."
The root sin is unbelief. The lie the enemy presented to Adam and Eve wasn't just an empty promise but a lie against the character of God. If God would lie to them, does that mean God is not good? It certainly is implied. Though we often feel we can control, it is an allusion. Adam and Eve were never in control, and neither are we. Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases (Psalm 115:3).
The idol of control brings exhaustion.
Control has a relationship with fear. Feeling out of control seems scary. The satisfaction we seek in control is rest. The idea is, "If I can control that thing, then I won't have to worry about the outcome. It's under my control." The irony of this thought is that when we seek the idol of control, we find exhaustion instead of finding the rest we desire. We were never meant to carry out the tasks that belong to God. We are incapable. Kristen Wetherell, says "We crown ourselves as little sovereigns, but we are inadequate." We are not God!
Seeking to control, even if it brings some temporary satisfaction, ultimately ends in misery. The idol of control ends up controlling us, which is the case with all idols. We see this prevalently today with the concept of burnout. As believers who have entered the rest promised to us in Christ, we have the privilege of working from rest instead of for it (Hebrews 4:9-10). When we operate from the position of rest, we are more productive. We serve God in a way that's pleasing to him and brings glory to him. We love others with the love of Christ.
When we strive from a place of strain, trying to control, we will eventually feel our frailty. Our strength finally comes to an end, and we enter a condition where we can no longer run as we once did. I have experienced it many times. Burnout has happened in my ministry. I have sought to serve God by accomplishing duties apart from him. I have created projects and ideas and have overcommitted in the past, trying to control them. I have pulled myself up by the bootstraps and have run with strained endurance leaping over the hurdles in my strength, every time falling flat on my face, out of breath, and burned out.
This honest look at our lack of strength reminds us that we are created beings. God made us in his image, but we are not God, and this will show itself true when we try to act like him. Richard Lints says the result of idolatry is "burnout, depression, feelings of discouragement, losing hope, feeling unsatisfied—all those personal emotions are natural results that don't satisfy."
The idol of control affects our worship.
Control is not a graven image or a god that we physically bow down to. But, when we begin to unhealthily control our money, health, jobs, and even other people, we are engaged in the worship of an idol. Idolatry demands our worship which makes it evil. We give to our idols what only belongs to God. With the idol of control, we bow down to ourselves, our strength, and our hands instead of God. We seek control for peace, rest, and confidence instead of our Lord Jesus.
God makes clear who deserves our worship, and he does not leave us wondering who he is. In Isaiah 46:9-10, God says, "I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, "My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purposes."
God's supremacy is not dangerous for his people. It should cause ease instead of fear. We have a loving God; he proved his love for us by sending his only begotten son (John 3:16). Our King is kind; he gives us mercy every morning (Lamentations 3:23). God is the ruler of all; the work he starts, he finishes (Philippians 1:6). We do not have to strive to assume his responsibilities.
When we open our hands, trusting God with all of our hearts, we rest with freedom. The weight is off. It is not up to us to run our world. We are free from the pressure of trying to rule in our imperfect wisdom and frailty. God is all-wise, and there are no mysteries for him. We are finite. Only God is infinite. God is the best fit for our trust.
Our response to idolatry is repentance and humility.
When we realize we have made an idol out of control, we should first repent. We open our hearts to God's loving correction and ask for a submissive heart posture.
Our God is caring. He disciplines those he loves, like a father disciplines the son he delights in (Proverbs 3:12). He demonstrates his love when he brings any sin to our attention, which should cause us not to curl up in shame but to run straight to his throne with humility and freedom. There is joy and safety in yielding to God.
Kelly Needham says, "A heart that is submissive is one that understands the authority it has been placed under and received it with joy, understanding God's sovereignty and ordaining authority."
God is in control. We can trust our entire lives to him in faith. Should we find this to feel impossible, God will give us the ability through the Holy Spirit. The man in scripture said to Jesus, "I believe, help my unbelief" (Mark 9:24). Can we not say, "I surrender, help me to surrender."
Though our natural inclination as finite creatures is to fear what we perceive to be out of our control, the Bible calls us to lean not on our own understanding but acknowledge God in all of our ways (Proverbs 3:5-6). God gives the rest we seek.
"Real rest cannot be found in understanding, real rest is found in trust. So he is willing to have a conversation with you again and again, and he has made sure that his Word assures you of his rule again and again." Paul David Tripp
Renewing Our Thinking, Stirring Our Affections, and Living Transformed
Head: God is our Authority. He is the Ancient of Days, and this is good. Does this truth cause you anxiety or resistance? Ask the Lord to reveal any unbelief in your heart of his goodness. Meditate on Psalm 103:19 and James 1:17.
Heart: God tells us to love him with all of our hearts. Examine your affections. Do you find yourself more focused on your desire for control instead of God? How might the truths that God is loving, kind, and will complete the work he has started in you affect your love for him? Meditate on Isaiah 46:9-10.
Hands: We are not to be hearers only, but what we know should transform our lives. If God has uncovered an idol for you, thank him for his loving discipline. What does repentance for you look like practically? How might you turn from yourself and turn to the firm confidence in Christ? Sister, fix your eyes on him. Meditate on Proverbs 3:12 and Proverbs 3:5-6.